(Thanksgiving, 2012)
After reading this post from one of my favorite blog writers, I was inspired to write this. Thanks, Rachel. :)
It's a bit ironic to me that I spent many years praying for the Lord to bless Nate and I with a child. All the ups and downs we went through, all the moments I longed to be a mother. And He is so good, He blessed us with a son. And then another son just MONTHS later! Yet, I sometimes find myself so grumpy and overwhelmed with these little blessings, that I forget to ENJOY them...enjoy the good AND the bad.
Blah.
After realizing these feelings, then I become mad at myself. Asking myself, "Nichole, do you know how blessed you are?" God has given me exactly what I always wanted and yet, so often I forget to be thankful and live and love these moments of REAL "mom-hood!"
It's a viscious cyle. As mom's I believe we beat ourselves up when we feel like we're not doing it "right" or good enough. I must remind myself many, many times a day that I AM good enough and that this is life-there is no right or wrong way. That as long as I am striving to be the best mama I can be to my sweet sons and the best wife I can be to my amazing husband THAT is good enough.
Constantly I have to make the decision whether to be angry, stressed, unhappy or to simply
CHOOSE JOY.
Forget about the toys scattered all over the floor (that I swear I've picked up 100 times throughout the day!) or the meals that need made, or the laundry that needs folded or the scrapbooks that so desperately need caught up on....and just LIVE. Enjoy all that I have been given. All that I have asked for.
Choose JOY.
Choose to make those chaotic moments (sticky faces, smooshed banana on the floor, spit up on the blanket, the overflowing trash can, the whiney 1.5 year old asking for a snack, then not being happy about anything, etc, etc, etc) my own. Choose joy in those unruly times. Because they are certain to be gone in a blink of an eye.
This crazy, busy life with two little ones is only a season and I know as crazy as it may sound right now, I will long to have it all back when they're grown and with families of their own. Gah. (Can't think of that right now! ;))
The first photo in this post pretty much sums how my life is right now-amazing, but so silly and crazy! These boys are a blast. A lot of work, but a BLAST!
I am so grateful for the moments when, after saying our prayers hearing Grayson say, "AAAA-MEN!" and his kisses. And watching Liam light up when he sees his big brother walk in the room or when he grabs his hand after bath. My heart about explodes watching them interact and when they give each other a mooch!
Or when I watch Nate with them. Wow, what a good daddy he is. (minus the times he is oblivious to when I need his help or something silly like that! ;)) Watching him giving Grayson a "horrrrrse" ride any time he asks, or having his help setting up a little play area in our basement for the kids, or seeing him light up when Grayson or Liam do something new.
These moments are what matter. Joyful.
Today, I am choosing joy. Even amongst the chaos, I choose joy.
