the little things

Look Back.

So, I just spent the last hour reminiscing on my old Xanga account. Wow.

I was crazy! The way I talked on there-good grief! I’m not sure WHO I was trying to be, but it made me laugh!

I have to admit, I got all giddy when I came to the entries in 05 when Nate entered my life! His cute, goofy little comments he left me…and the posts I wrote about him!  I adore him! I truly see how in love I was with him before I even knew it!

I love looking back on things like that.  It makes me realize even more WHY I scrapbook. To remember. To look back. I am so grateful for this hobby!  I am so glad I have MY story down in albums. The story of my family and friends.  How life was and is. So awesome!

So, Day #4 has been good!  I have to admit, this weekend hasn’t been super easy…being cooped up in the house, eating out…but, I’m managing well.  I knew I was going out with mom, Megan & Tana last night so I planned ahead, saved a lot of my points & used a few extras I get in the week.  It was totally worth it too, because we ate a local restaurant that we love called The Olde Jaol! So, so good!  What was even better was hanging out with mom, Meg & Tana!  We had such a great time & laughed way, way hard!

After Nate left for work today, I decided to catch up on emails & the internet in general, and then I cleaned the whole house & did laundry! Boy, that feels good!  Now, I have candles burning in every room and am feeling so accomplished!  I tried to scrap a little bit ago, but just couldn’t.  I hate when I start pages that I can’t finish. Argh! Maybe I’ll go back in a bit!

Tomorrow, Nate & I are heading to Cleveland for the Auto Show!  I’m pretty excited!  Nate is WAY excited! Haha.  It’s kind of our tradition to go now, so happy Date Monday! :) hehe.

I hope you weekend was wonderful! Thank you all so much again for sending me such encouraging, positive words!!  They mean so much to me & I greatly appreciate it! 

Ps-Somehow I forgot to mention that Stephanie (livingroomfloor on etsy) sent me an awesome RAK of goodies last week! She is so thoughtful & I LOVE her shop! Lots of great things in there, so if you haven’t already, you should totally check her schtuff out!)  She has such cute tags-I just ordered more the other day-I can’t get enough! Thanks again, Steph if you see this!

Just how lucky

Thank you for your words & your emails!  It means SO much to me!  If I haven’t wrote you back yet, I will!  I just got home from WALKING with Megan & having a great sister to sister chat after a long day at work, so I’m slow goin’ tonight!

Anyways, just a random post today.

I had been at work about an hour when a co-worker of mine (who, unfortunately doesn’t have a very good marriage & is overweight-her words, not mine) came to my cube asking me about Weight Watchers.  She said she’s hoping to join online this weekend & asked for some pointers since she knew I had had success with it years ago.  As I was talking to her I noticed how down she seemed. I continued to fill her with info & welcomed her conversation. Then she told me what a bad morning it had been.  That the truth finally had come out of her husband. She told me about the fight that they had before she left for work & that he told her he was embarrassed to be seen with her & how fat & ugly she is & that all of his friends give him a hard time because he has such a fat wife.

My heart BROKE for her.  The devastation in her eyes killed me.  She immediately began crying & apologized.  I have no idea why she apologized, there was no need. I felt for her. How unfortunate & terrible to have someone who supposedly loves you & cares about you treat you so badly.  Then, I realized just how lucky I am to have just the opposite in my husband.  How kind & supportive Nate is to me.  I can’t imagine him ever saying that to me.  I told my co-worker I was always here for her & that she has to want this for HERSELF, no one else.,.especially a mean husband like that.  My heart still hurts for her & I hope she has great success with the program.

As a motivation to me, I broke out the old scrapbooks last night. Yes. From THE scrapbook. The weight loss one from when I first started WW’s in 2003. Would you just look at this layout….most importantly-that photo! Ack. haha. (sorry for the crookedness-old scanner!)

I WILL look like that again!!  That photo is bittersweet to me. Bitter because I don’t look like that anymore! Lol  & sweet because that girl was adorable. ( I can say that, right?! Haha) & strong & confident & so, so happy!  I remember that day like it was yesterday. How GOOD it felt to be wearing a cute little denim skirt…and summery shirt.

I am beyond excited to get there again…and even beyond that!

Day One was great!  It will even be better when I go grocery shopping Saturday. I have LOTS of key little things to pick up that will make snacking & meals MUCH easier!  And like I said above, Megan & I went walking inside the local high school tonight! They have it open for the public to walk from 5-9 every weeknight but Fridays, so while the weather is still cruddy I plan on getting there at least 3 times a week!  I’m so slow, I was even getting passed by old ladies! Haha.  I’ll get there, tho.

Here's to a good Friday & a trying weekend ahead...I'm going out to dinner with my mom, Megan & Tana Saturday night-looking forward to it! :) happy Friday to you!

Put it out there

I came home, ate my last fattening dinner for a while (tacos & doritos! Haha) & made this page.

I’m putting it out there this time.

I cried a little today while thinking about how just a few years ago how different I looked. How much healthier I was.

I keep saying I’m going to do this. But, for whatever reason I don’t. I quit.

Well, not this time.  I want too many things to give up.

Like… a baby. Good health. To wear CUTE clothes. To feel good about myself.

This time I won’t fail.

This time I’ll try my hardest.

This time is THE time.

This time I will accomplish what I set out to do.

This time I mean it.

I don’t think I’ve ever felt so miserable.

I was looking my old weight loss scrapbook. What a disappointment I am to myself. Wow. I wasn’t even to goal & I looked good if I do say so myself!  How happy I was. How confident.

And now, 5 years later I’ve gotten comfortable. Comfortable in love (not that it’s a bad thing, I LOVE Nate…and I am SO grateful for his love for me no matter what size.) but, that comfort has hurt me big time.  It’s caused me to get too lazy, eat too much, accept that fat is just what I am. BUT, it’s NOT what I am.  I KNOW I am not this overweight person. I’m 23 years old. I have a LONG life to live & I do NOT want to do it overweight!

I’ve lost count at how many times I’ve started this same journey, but this time I feel it in my heart that it is different. I’m ready & I know I have lots of friends, family, an amazing husband & God supporting me!

So, tomorrow starts Day #1.  I have some mini goals, but I’ll share those at a later time.

Hope you are great!  I’ll update about last weekend later…for now, I’m off to eat one last CUPCAKE!!! LOL and watch some tv before I call it a day!

Oh, and Cathy! If you see this...I have your package all ready to go! I am so sorry I was such a slacker-it'll be on its way by Friday! Thanks for being patient! :)

Lovey Sweetness.

Happy Weekend!!

Yesterday was such a great day! Since we couldn’t be together last night, Nate & I had an impromptu lunch date at Chipotle…he picked me up at work...and when I met him outside...there

he was, holding these beauties.  6 beautiful roses (he knows how much I hate for him to spend a ton of money on flowers that will just die even tho I love them and I quote him, “I only got half a dozen cuz they were half as expensive...for you!” haha)  He even remembered a vase from home so I could display them at w      ork! Whata guy, right?!

They look tattered from my crappy office building & from the ride home tonight after work, but I love them! I wasn’t expecting them at all! And the card he got me was precious. The note inside made it even BETTER! He’s so thoughtful!

Tonight I filed our taxes.  We’re not getting back as much as we did last year…for whatever reason.  We thought we’d get more, since Nate actually worked an entire year somewhere, but it wasn’t the case this time. Weird.

The tax lady’s house is just down the road from my mom & Phil’s, so I decided to stop by for a “quick” visit.  Mom was working, but Phil was home & we had a blast catching up! We chatted for 2 hours!

Now, I’m back home, waiting on Nate to get home from work.  I’m thinking about scrapping a bit. I got this in the mail today!!!  So excited to play with it!  It’s pretty all stuff I’ve never used before, so I’m pretty pumped!  I also started a new mini album last night…calling it 365.  I’m doing a mini page about every day for the next year..photo or not. Lots of journaling or not. Whatever. Just to get a thought or happening or feeling down from everyday. I’m REALLY going to strive to stick with it!

We’re going away for the weekend with our good friends, Jim, Claudia, Kelli, Brian, Kate-Lynn & Brian (yeah, sisters both dating/engaged to Brians! Hehe!) for Kate-Lynn’s 21^st birthday! We’re staying at a hotel that has a bunch of indoor games, swimming pool (although, I won’t be swimming!! LOL), etc! I’m so excited!! Nate is pumped because he’s calling off work & actually gets to do something on a Saturday night for once!

Also, here’s a few photos from last Sunday with the fam!  They’re terrible quality, but I don’t care, they’re mine. My life. What I love.

1. sitting in mom & Phil's living room...just relaxing. oh, I love Sundays! 2. Snow.On the way home from church...following mom & Phil. I love Ohio. (sarcasm) 3. Us. in the car. Look at Nate's angry face! Or should I say, irritated face?! haha. Love it! 4. Sleepy Meg. She's so on the go all wekk. She just lounged!

Hope you have a fantastic weekend!!!

and the winner is...

Thanks so much to everyone who dropped by & said hello!

So glad you’re here & that you enjoy reading about my crazy life! Haha.

Please be sure to stop by again when you can & let me know you’re here!

Thanks for all the sweet words about Nate & I.  It means a lot to us!  It was fun reading what you had to say & it’s very cool to know that there are so many other young, “newlyweds” out there too! :)

I had Nate randomly pick a number…and he chose #7!

Congratulations to Cathy!! 

Please email me your mailing address at nichole87220@aol.com & I will send you a few goods from my stash!

We’ve had a great weekend! Lots of food & family…and shopping!

I’ll have to post some photos later-for now, I’m off to help Nate finish the mocha cheesecake we started!  I’ve planned for one piece tomorrow (we can’t eat it until it refrigerates overnight)…the rest is going to Nate & family!

Here’s to a good week!!

Posted by: Cathy | February 10, 2008 at 08:05 AM

Hi Nicole, I am a total lurker! I've been lurking before the days of Nate. I have had the pleasure of seeing your relationship with Nate blossum into marriage and I think it's great and I of course love seeing your pages! You have been on a roll here lately, I need to get my butt in gear and get some pages done. Thanks for sharing your pages it's always inspiring.

Out of my element

So, I’m not the type of scrapper who likes to “travel” to scrap. I like having all my stuff right in front of me, right in the same spot. I have no scrapbooking haul gear or special travel storage. I’ve been to a handful of crops in the 9 years I’ve been scrapping…it’s just not what I do. Until lately!

For the last 3 weeks I have completely busted out of my element, and went all out!  I went to the Cord Camera Crop in January (complete with all my “necessities”-isn’t it all?! In a Staples box from my office! Haha. Stylish, right?!).  Last Friday night I didn’t actually pack up & go anywhere, but my good friends Kate-Lynn & Kelli came to my house & I brought a lot of my stuff OUT to the dining room & set up shop there!  And this afternoon I traveled to Tricia’s house to scrap!  This time with 3 different bags of goods!  Just call me butter, cuz I’m on a roll! ;) hahaha.

Seriously tho, it’s been good fun getting out of my stay at home & getting out & scrapping. Loving it, really!

And tonight, was awesome, because not only did I get these 2 layouts done (hello, both are big messes, but I’m ok with that!), BUT, I even made a card for Nate (Tricia is a total card-making pro & said I had to! LOL) AND…AND…AND…are you ready for this???

I made a 12x12 page!!!!  Holy crap!  I can’t even remember the last time that happened! Forgive the cruddy digi pic, no 12x12 scanner…because I rarely scrap 12x12! Haha. BUT, I had the biggest urge to…so I did!  The title is just a silly one about how Nate made me almost pee my pants today leaving the grocery store!  I wish you could all know him in person…he has such a laid back/goofy personality!  He’s sooo funny even when he’s not trying to be! LOL anywhoo, the photo is old...from our engagement photos almost 2 years ago, but I love it, and the fun tag is from livingroomfloor on etsy...love her fun stuff! Check her out!

Anywhoo, I feel quite accomplished for the day! Nate & I had such a fun day earlier today before he went to work. We ventured up to Archiver’s (he went to Wal Mart & Toys R Us for non other than Hot Wheels while I shopped scrap stuff!), and returned a beautiful diamond ring at Jared he bought me a couple of weeks ago…I was with him, it was my (stupid) idea, I fell in love, he signed on the dotted line, it was a total impulse buy, and I’ve regretted it ever sine (hello, remember the budget we just produced?! However, the purchase was made the day BEFORE the budget, but still!)…sooo..I returned it today & boy do I feel better!  Thank goodness for that 30 day return policy! After Jared we stopped by the pet shop just to window shop puppies.  We can’t have them here while we’re renting, but we love to look at how cute they are!  On our way back thru town, near home, we stopped by Audrey’s Attic (of course!) where he surprised me with a Vday gift early-the Promise Willow Tree! :)  He’s so sweet!  I also picked up a few little signs for around the house (I’ll have to post photos when I get them set out, right now they’re still in the bag! D’oh!) & THE cutest little magnet (which, actually inspired the cupcake page about Nate above!) that says, “I love you more than cupcakes!”  hehe. I just cannot get enough of cupcakes lately! To eat, to scrap, to look at, to decorate with..ahh! Love them!

So, yeah!  Fun day!  Now, it’s 11 p.m…Nate will be home in one hr, 20 minutes (haha!) & then we get to go to Wal Mart to get a few groceries! The joys! 

Can’t wait for church tomorrow!  My mom is feeling much better.  It turns out she didn’t have the flu bug at all, she went to the doctor yesterday morning & found out she has Strep! Blech!  But, she’s on some meds & said she’s feeling way better, so that’s good!  Can’t wait to have lunch with the family tomorrow!  Mom’s lasagna & garlic bread-what could be better?!

Anywhoo, I’m off to go surf the net! Hope you are great!

Oh, and if you like new music, check out Hollyview’s Myspace. It’s Nate’s old suitemate from college, Chris Cotton’s new band/group & I am loving their new song I Love you...he’s an extremely talented guy & tho just starting out, I know he has big dreams!  So, take a listen if you like!

oh, oh...I am really sorry again for the way my posts are appearing. I know it must be a nightmare to read...so I appreciate those who make it through!  So, to show my appreciation in stopping by...*here's where it's important ya'll---

Leave me a comment & say hello(whether you read often, or stop in from time to time, or just lurk) & let me know you're here & I will draw someone's name on Monday & give a lucky reader a RAK just of some fun goodies from my stash!!! 

it's what i'm good at

Tuesday night, after a long day, just before we fell asleep, I asked Nate what he loved about me. His first was “you’re sassy!” LOL  “I Love that sassy,spunk about you!” (gee, thanks hubs!) then he said, “and your randomness. It makes me laugh all the time & I love it about you!” 

Gotta love a guy who is completely honest all the time! He makes me laugh.

So, with that…here’s some of what I’m good at….

-I decided to forego the overtime at work.  With working 10.5 hour days as it is, plus the long commute, my time would be even less than it is now, and I just dreaded it.

-I didn’t get to move onto the Round 3 in the SIS Fashionista contest. I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t bummed.  Not even that I didn’t make it, but there was some amazing talent who also didn’t get to move on & frankly, I am getting kind of bummed with seeing some of the SAME people on every design team known to man.  It’s not that they’re not talented or that I don’t enjoy their work, but sometimes some amazing talents slips thru the cracks or gets pushed aside for someone else who may “more known” or knows someone..I can’t wait to see who makes it & I think Jeanette has some tough choices to make!  I wish her all the best & the new team-I know they’ll rock it!  My only hope is that some new/raw talent makes thru too. Ok, negative, snobby Nichole is done with that! Lol

-going to a Pampered Chef party tomorrow night with some girly friends! So excited!

-the husband of my best co-worker, ever, Claudia packed ME a lunch today! complete with a tuna salad sandwich on pumpernickel (my new fave!), a banana & some new apple cinnamon Sun Chips! It made my day & was REALLY yummy!

-girls night with Tricia Saturday night!

-my poor mom has the flu right now. She hasn’t been sick in seriously 7 years. I called her today & se sounded awful. It breaks my heart to hear so weak!  She feels that she “has” to go to work tomorrow…ummm, NO. ! LOL  she’s crazy!

-we’re having lunch after church with my family at mom & Phil’s house! So excited! I love family time!

-I love Lane Bryant.  I just started shopping there about a year or 2 ago & lately I have found some of THE cutest things there!  I just bought a new pair of jeans & the girls were SO helpful. They have a color coding system for which is the best fit for you. Yellow for if you’re more straight, red for some curves & blue if you’re full on curvy.  Well, it turns out what I’ve been saying for years is true: I’m a misfit! LOL  I totally didn’t look right in any of those 3! The yellow was too big in the waist, the red was too saggy in the butt, the blue made me feel like I was wearing men’s pants! Haha. Luckily, the girls working there were wonderful & helped me find just the right fit! So happy to have a new pair of jeans that FIT me! Haha. Anyways, they have some cuuute shirts & I’ve noticed the ones I get there I always get comments on…Im heading there on Sunday for some shopping!

-I signed up for Happy Mail on SIS…and just looked over at my scrap table & there sat my package to Jennifer! Ack! I completely forgot to ship it out this week! Doh!  Thank goodness Nate has to run to post office for stamps tomorrow anyways! Ha.

-Nate & I cannot get enough of John & Kate Plus 8 on TLC! We became fans last season, but gosh…the more we watch, the more we see how similar we are to them we are! (minus the 8 children of course!) haha.  I even watch the reruns it’s that good!

-I’ve decided Monday needs to be & has to be the day I start watching the carbs/sugars again. I feel miserable & I’ve been having some bouts with my health & getting angry with myself for prolonging our “dream” even more with every piece of pizza or donut I eat…so, here we go again…

-well, I think that’s about it for now.  After about 6 p.m.

my brain just shuts off, so I tend to forget a lot of stuff! LOL

Hope you are well! And yey for Friday!!

The Good Things!

Because that post below was so negative (thanks for the good thoughts, btw!) it’s time to note the GOOD things in life!

-overtime at work. This could go both ways, but I am grateful I have a job & for the temporary option for a little extra time, which of course = extra $$!

-scrapping with 2 NEW friends (who happen to also be sisters & my closest co-workers daughters & right around my age!) Kate-lynn & Kelli Friday night! I seriously laugh so hard I couldn’t breathe! All. Night. Long. We scrapped it for hours!

-AMAZING church service today! the words. the fellowship. The reason we are all there. Makes a girl happy! :)

-the recurring thought of going back to school. but finally deciding that Early Childhood Education is the way I want to go…if I go.  Lots of praying going on for that situation. But, it’s a really exciting feeling too!

-SIS Fashionista Rounds.  Very exciting!  But, I think I’m thinking about it more than I realized, because I definitely had a dream about it last night…that I didn’t make the 2^nd round & was SO sad! Haha.  In reality, sure I’d be sad at first, but gosh..the talent that made it on to the next round this time was WHOA! Incredible! So, I’m not getting my hopes up. I’m just honored to be chosen even for the first round!

-grocery shopping is done for the week! (that’s always a relief when you make it thru Wal-Mart! Can I get an amen?!)

-my grandma had a follow-up doctor appointment Friday…and they totally found NOTHING terribly wrong with her heart! Praise the Lord!  It was confirmed that she does have a leaky valve, but the doctors said that will be fine.  She’s on the same medication & she was SO excited & happy when she called me Friday evening! I haven’t heard that upbeat for months!

-I visited with my dad last night & we had a really good face to conversation about all kinds of stuff!  We even reminisced about our old house & such. And then he asked me this, “hey, are you & Nate trying to have a baby or something?!”  I laughed & asked him why he asked.  He said, “because for the last few weeks I’ve been having these dreams that you tell everyone you’re pregnant…and it’s really freaking me out, Nichole!”  LOL  Dad knows of my PCOS problems, but, like most guys…that kind of “girl stuff” goes in one ear & out the other & unless I told him I was dying he didn’t exactly process what it meant all the way! HA.  It was cute tho..and I did tell him that, yes…we’re trying, hoping for a little one…but who knows when it will happen.  He smiled, said ok & moved on with the conversation! :)

-my wisdom tooth is FINALLY feeling better, still a little sore at times, but much better.  Now, I just hope I won’t have to have them all pulled!

Life is just busy right now…and we have so much to think about. Not to mention I have really fallen off the wagon with watching what I’m eating, which tends to make me crabby, because I KNOW what I have to do, it’s just doing it.  Nate says in order to have what I want, I have to work for it…it’s not just going to happen right away.

Why does he have to be so right all the time?! ;)

Hope you are well!!  I’m off to surf the net and maybe scrap! Oh, and package up my first Happy Mail package to my partner, Jennifer P! :)

Here's the pages I finished Friday night...only 2 because we were tired, and too busy cracking up! haha.