the little things

waiting on nate.

wonder where my guy is??!

we have to get to the ban to open our savings account...they close in an hour! eep!

sittin here, all ready to go, kinda bored. hope he's ok.

i'm feelin MUCH better than i did yesterday! thank you all! sorry for the random, random, random vents of stress & such...i do feel better after i blog! :) 

i know i have 9.5 months, but so many little things can be done now. i'm sucha  geek! :)

sooo excited for tonight..with all my friends at t's!! :) gonna be gooood fun!!

k, must get. to do what, i don't know! *lol*

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!

anxiety.

a terrible, terrible word & one i have happily ignored & tried to fight off for months.

i was never really "familiar" with anxiety until last Valentine's Day when I was getting ready to leave for work & felt, well, i didn't really 'feel' anything at all! I remember not being able to breathe,getting dizzy & faint...and then i just collapsed.

my mom rushed me to the ER, as I was completely out of it and ghost white.

i don't remember much. just the wheelchair. and then waking up in the hospital bed.

and then a shot in my booty! ha.

as i came-to the nurse kept asking me a million questions, and i could hardly answer. my head pounded & i hurt.

the diagnosis: my first anxiety attack.

NICE.

i have always been a worrier. always going, going, going...doing, doing, doing. [get that from my mom!]

i get stressed even before i know i'm stressed.

i only ever used to show i was stressed by getting migraines, then it just got worse, resulting in that attack.

DUDE. soooo not fun!

i had a lot going on at that time: work sucking,guys,college plans & hopes,lots of crap.

i tried to take on too much, get too much done at once. i also let a guy get the best of me & tear me down.

after some good meds & lots of rest i was better. weak, but better. i never wanted another one.

i did well for months, and then in july, had another attack. once again,i was stressed about 'little things'...buying a new car, not getting to go to college,facing the "what-if's & why nots"...it tore me down too. ugh.

i haven't had once since that time...YEY!! and when Nate & I got engaged I promised myself NOT to let the little things get to me.

i have been doing well with that, until today.

today is friday. i should be happy. today is payday. i should be excited. today is the start of a 3.5 day weekend. i should be stoked. but, i'm not.

i hate the feeling of being rushed, behind,unprepared.

and that can trigger an anxiety attack. i don't want that.

i am not getting enough sleep.

i have too many clothes to put away.

i can't walk on my bedroom floor cuz of all the crap.

i'm bothered that some of the gifts that were received this Christmas were NOT necessary [ am completely, completly grateful for the thought,but for example: the portable DVD player my dad got my me AND my sister; not me and NATE. UGH! or the cozy coupe little tykes car & gas tank from Nate's mom that were lost in their garage fire this summer-in replacement...sweet, but what the flip are we gonna do with that??!!] *ok, vent over* sorry.

i need money.

i worry we won't be able to afford this wedding.

2 jobs & STILL not enough money.

i worry nate won't find a job. now, this summer AND when we're married.

i have wayyyy too mcuh stuff to do at work. my piles just keep getting bigger!

i have no place to put all my wedding stuff!

i've had a headache all day. i'm groggy with no makeup & my hair is just barely brushed & pulled behind my ears! [talk about a slacker! ha.] i'm blogging & have a crapload of stuff i SHOULD be doing here at work, but am just sooo unmotivated today. blah.

soooo to try & feel better, i'm gonna do what i usually do to feel better [besides shop or scream! ha.] i'm gonna make a list of to-do's...lets see where it gets me!

to do tonight:

-take application into scrapbook store. [thanks for all the kind words about this, everyone!]

-home to put all those clothes away [that i DON'T wash!! *LOL* JILL!!! *wink*]

-organize wedding stuff/future home stuff

-pick up scrap area

-then, maybe, just maybe a bubble bath for me...and then paint my nails :)

tomorrow:

-NATE'S COMING!!!!!

-to the bank with Nate to cash job#2's check & open a joint savings account with my soon to be hubby!!!! yeyyyy!! this will be to save for our wedding, i am excited!

-oil change...since i'm over 2,000 miles overdue! DOH!

-grocery store for snacks for tricia's party.

-possibly take a look at some apartments for rent around here...just to start getting ideas!

-tricia's New Year's Eve bash at 7!!! sooo pumped to get to hang out with all my friends!!

-spend the night @ t's!!!yesss!

sunday

-no plans really.

-prolly gonna sleep.

-then, time to get bustin' on some wedding stuff!!

-bouquets with mom?

-ribbon on bubbles?

-ribbon & DIY monograms on ring bearer pillow & flowergirl basket?

-start wording our invites...this needs done soon, actually!

monday

-thank goodness for another day off!!!

-SLEEPING IN!!!

-SCRAPPING!!!!!

ok. i think i'm better now! seriously.

i actually get more 'free' time than i thought! wonderful!!

what's everyone's plans for the new year?!!

in case i don't get here before,

have a very HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE!!!! :)

that's it.

after 8 days of no catch up. 10 days of no scrapping. 2 straight days of 13 hour work days. and very little sleep...

I AM SCRAPPING!!!!

holllla!! ha!

Thank Goodness tomorrow is friday!!! [totally takin that scrap store application in & as of tonight, i am all done the job#2 until either March or the scrap store hires me!!! *cross your fingers!!*]

[recap.]

  alrighty...for the Christmas recap! i am so sleepy...so please forgive the typos & such! i actually didn't take a lot of photos this trip and none of Christmas morning..oops! ha. we had SUCH a wonderful time! here's the 411! :)

sorry for the sloppiness of the typing & the wonky order of the photos! typepad is not cooperating tonight!

weds night Megan worked at the toystore for me so i could be with nate & pack & such.  We decided to leave at 4 a.m. Thursday.  We were excited..so we only got an hour of sleep! DOH! i started the trip driving..made it 2.5 hours into W. Virginia & then had to sleep! i was sooo tired! nate drove the rest of the way down to s. carolina to his grandparents house where we stayed Thursday night. we made it in 11 hours. UGH! *lol*  Thursday night i also met his dad, matt & his half sister, Lauren [our flower girl!} Mhmygosh!! she is CUUUTE! when they arrived, i was in the kitchen...Lauren came in & went right to me & said, "hi Michole, i'm Lauren, I'm 4 & my birthday's may 31st!" haha. how stinkin cute is that?! PLUS!!  she has the sweetest little southern accent! i LOVE it! we also opened gfts from his grandparents..it was fun! 

On friday, we woke up at 9 & headed to Nate's dad's house to meet them & head to Isle of Palms where we were staying.  we had some time to kill, so we stopped at the gas station & washed all that nasty, OhiO salt crap off my car & stopped at a fast food place ive never heard of, called Rush's. it was really good!  That was also the day we officially asked Lauren to be our flowergirl and she was so excited & said yes!! awww! heee! :)

we left for IOP a little after 1 p.m. & made it there after 3 p.m.  i LOVED the place! everything about it! our house was a 4 bedroom, 4 bath..nate & I had the whole downstairs to ourselves..it was really nice!    nate's whole fa,ily was SUPER nice! there was 9 of staying there [his dad, his step mom, Lauren, kelly's 2 sisters, a husband & her dad]  After we got settled, Nate & I headed to the beach to walk!!  and i found a whole SAND DOLLAR!!!  i was stoked!! the lil' guy is sitting here beside me itching to be bleached!! *grin* after we came in, we hung out for the rest of the night before hearing from jill.  We headed to Applebee's, had a wonderful dinner & met Jill about an hour later there! it was sooo fun seeing her again & chatting! nate really enjoyed her company too...always a great time! PLUS!!! check out the AWESOME bowl[the pic also has some other Christmas goodies in it too..i'll tell about those lata!] she got us for our living room!!! she also got us a YUMMY smelling candle, but with all the unpacking, it seems to be buried at the moment! heee!

after the bee's & 3 hours of chatting, we headed out & went separate ways :(  Nate & i went home...where i got a great back maassage [like always! ;)] & we exchanged ONE gift each!  he got me Madagascar & i let him open his Family Guy Season 4 DVD & his scrapbook! :)  we konked out later & woke up saturday morning..the only day we actually got to sleep in! :)  we got up & headed to Charleston..which i like a lot too!!  the homes there are GORGEOUS & i loved Rainbow Row!! sooo fun browsing the market & being with his family!  [pic to the left: me, nate, Kelly [his stepmom] & the infamous Miss Lauren!!  i LOVED how she wanted to hold nate & I's hands!  we had such a good time with her! we drove separate from the others & she even rode with us!  Nate, Lauren & I ended up heading to target so i could pick up, of all things, a new eyeliner! *lol*  I hafta admit, even tho children are a long ways off for us, it was something else having a kid with us! she walked in the middle of us, holding our hands & we loved playing with her! making her giggle & holding her hand!  i liked that she like dbeing with us...always a good thing! :) she is SO smart too! and has wonderful manners, full of "please & thank you's" *sigh* our children are gonna be like that too!! haha.

on the way home, my mom called me. she was at my grandparents with everyone & i wasn't there. it was kinda sad, but i got to talk to just about everyone that was there & it made me better & put a HUGE smile on my face! i loved that!! i felt like i was there, celebrating Christmas Eve like i always do! we came home & chilled. i love chilling. loooove it!! that's what vaca is all about!! we had great dinners, lots of laughs, slept good,watched plenty of E! tv, MTV & VH1...i loved every second. seriously. i also let Nate open another gift...this time it was his AE orange stripe shirt & beanie!  Lauren also slept downstairs with us. that was a chore! she didn't want to go to sleep. se was excited! she loved wearing my blue lyndystar ring & always wanted to wear my engagement ring, which, of course was OFF limits! :) she loves her BLING!

Sunday morning was GREAT! no real Christmas tree, but thank goodness for the fake Palm we had in our dining room!! haha! yeah. that really WAS our "Christmas tree!" *lol*  it was fun tho!  we enjoyed listening to Christmas music & opening gifts & stockings! Lauren loved the giraffe we made her at Build-a-Bear! we puta  giggle in her & named her georgina! She actually ended up falling asleep with her Sunday night!  We had a delicious Christmas dinner, & later on Nate & I walked the beach one last time!  How awesome was it walking the beach in sweaters & being with the one i love?!!  it was AMAZING!! we decided to write our names, etc in the sand...i have ALWAYS wanted to that!!!  me with my messy hair..but gosh did we have fun!!! the top shot was [obviously] taken by nate!] i loved holding hands as we walked the beach! we also got our feet/shoes drenched when we were too close to the water & weren't paying attention & the tide came in!! haha. that was funny!

we came in & chilled. just did our own thing, which was always sooo nice! we had a really good talk about our engagement & stuff..his family made me feel sooo welcome, just like i had always known them! i loved it! :)  after Lauren fell asleep & one of kelly's sisters & husband left, we had some queit time to all 4 sit & talk, which was super nice! 

nate & i got up at 2:30 Monday morning to get ready & head back to Ohio, but to nate's home town for Christmas with his mom's side of the family.  that was SUCH a long drive!! it took us 14 hours & i will never do that again!! *lol*  we actually had to pull off to a rest area not even 2 hours into our drive to sleep because i was too tired to drive & Nate kept nodding off at the wheel! we took an hour nap & headed off again, feeling rather okay!  we were about an hour away from getting into Ohio [approx. 2 or 3 hours from findlay] when nate got sick. we think it was a mix of rushing lunch down in the car to "save time" & playing electronic solitaire that got him!  we had a great ride together tho..listening to music, taking naps, talking ALOT, it was enjoyable, but we were exhausted!

we finally made it in about 6:30 or so..were "thrown" onto the couch to open presents with his family [gparents, aunts, uncles, cousins,mom, etc!] & got some wonderful things!  we finally got to bed around 12:30 & slept til 10 cuz i wanted to take my last day off & go shopping!!!!  soooo we did!! :) went to hobby Lobby & i bought MORE of my flowers for the BM's bouquets,some scrap schtuff [see photo!], we also went to the mall & found some hallmark ornaments, etc.  Took his mom to lunch at a delicious restaurant for her birthday & headed back to my town around 3.  i drove most of the way home...we stopped by Kmart cuz i had seen an advertisement for bedding that i liked in a bridal magazine..ended up not finding the exact thing, but we DID get: our comforter [for the bed we don't have yet!! *lol*], sheets, new puffy pillows,an ornament, a plastic storage container, & 2 super soft brown pillows for the couch that we don't have yet!! *LOL* i love buying stuff for our futire home!! just love it!! :)

got to my house, got my parents & the 4 of us went to a YUMMY chinese restaurant that Nate& i love...had SUCH a great time catching up on our trip & such!! this was the best vacation i think i've ever had!!!

here's what Santa brought me...

-big GC to Walmart [to Nate & I from his dad]

-$cash!!$[from my grandparents,my mom & phil & his dad]

-2 gc's to Kohl's [from his grandparents & my step brother]

-a portable DVD player [from my dad]

-Satin Hands by Mary kay,body wash,lotion,TONS of candy, a massager,loofah [from his dad & step mom]

-box of chocolates[from kelly's dad awww!]

-a cuuute purse,candy, and YUMMY lotion,spray & wash [from his grandparents]..see pic!

-perfume [from his grandparents in S.C.]

-Tommy Girl  gift set[from Nate]

-$200 gas Card [from my dad]

-a bright striped scarf from talbots [from nate's mom]

-pots & pans set!!![from his mom & step dad]

-candy!!!! :)

-and my dear, sweet friend, DONNA!!!! ;) sent me a wonderful scrap package full of wedding related scrap supplies that i LOVE!!!! thank you sooo much, Donna! Nate & i LOVE it [he seriously thought the stuff was super cool! hehe!]

ok. shew!  i think that's all. minus a lots of details!! *lol*  i wish i weren't so tired, i'd scrap!! *lol* i can't wait to get startedon the photos i have printed!!

anywhoo...i gotta get to bed! have to work in the a.m. then at job# 2 at night!  poo. haha.

ohhh hO hO hO

we're back in OhiO. i'm tired. Christmas was fantabulous! back at work today. BLAH.

nate loved his mini scrapbook surprise. lots of gift gift cards,money,& lotion & perfumes.

i miss the beach.  i work tonight & tomorrow night @ job#2 [which means there might not be any picture posts until friday, but i'm sure gonna try!]

jill is too cool for school. seriously. ;)

cannot wait to get married!!!

i miss nate.

will post more later! hope everyone had a super very merry Christmas & new year's is just around the corner!!

ready to go!

orrrrr not!

so, nate & i leave late tonight for our trip to s.c. annnnd

..i haven't packed a thing.

..i still have presents to wrap.

..i need to take a shower.

..i need to take a nap.

..i need to make the list of what i'm GONNA pack [while here at work]

..i need to fill my gas tank

..other than that, i think i'm all set! :)

i hate the last day before a vacation while at work! i just wanna hurry the time while i'm here [ok, so that's everyday..but stiiiill!!! *lol*]

i wanna sleep. i don't wanna attach one more document to another, i don't wanna make one more phone call, i. just. do. not. want. to. be. here. !!!

gee, only 6 more hours to go [5 actual working hours, since lunch is my time!]

i want to be at home, where nate will be in a couple of hours [looove how he likes to just hang out with my parentals even when i'm not there!! yey! :)], packing & doin all that other stuff listed above! just not here!

i can't wait to see jill on friday!!! i can't wait for nate to open his presents!! i can't wait to take the drive with my boo!! i can't wait to meet his dad & grandparents!! i can't wait to just relax. no wedding planning, no more stressing about what to buy for someone, no work!! just sooo much to look forward to!

oh. the weather. wonder what it's like??! best think of that when makin my list & packin tonight!

it's been a while, so i'm in the mood to list some of my *lOvin's* right now!!

LOve:

-GREAT office parties just chatting & laughing with coworker's [last thursdays was actually fun, but yesterday's was a BLAST!]

-mocha chip OPI lotion my supervisor bought me for Christmas [and the body wash,snowman ornament & spray she got me too!] but that lotion smells just like mint choc. chip icecream!!! mmmmm! :)

-my new pink pen colette at work.

-jamie foxx

-email & real mail love from my cyber friends!! :)

-catchin up with tricia last night on aim

-the thought of chillin with some of my closest friends new year's eve!!

-my new alpha stamps from megan

-getting work done at work

-christmas cards hanging in my cube!

-my snowman frame from my supervisor last year which now holds a pic of my mom & i from last weekend!

-theknot.com

-tricia got herself a blog!!! this is BIG, people!!! *lol*

-that 5 of the 5 bridesmaid's i've showed the dresses to love them!!! [what a relief!]

-Christmas is in 4 days!!!

-that i'm spending Christmas in the south!! woot!

and that is all!

this will probably be my last post until next week sometime [we get home tuesday, but i go back to work wednesday, so that'll prolly be my next day to post!] so, with that, i have this last thing to say...

MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE!!!!!!!

sneaky.

uh huh. yup. that's me! sneaky!

ok. i don't think nate has access to the internet while he's home in findlay this time, so i could totally tell ya'll what i'm being sneaky about, i could ttally show ya'll what i'm bein sneaky about...but ohhhh!! taht's just too big of a risk!

all i can say is i made a spur of the moment decision to get 'crafty wit' it!'  sooo find it on 2p's if you're interested in knowing..or seeing!! ;) but shhhh! say nothing!

[it's really not all taht fabulous, but i'm excited about it none-the-less!]

in other news...

i miss nate. TERRIBLY.

i love his phone calls, hearing his voice & how often he makes me laugh with his stories!

only 2 more days til he's here with me & 2 days, 2 hours til we head out for down south!! yeyyyy jilly!!  i get to seee yooooouuu! :)

anywhoo...it's FAR past my bedtime. i'm out like trout...but i leave you with this....

a quick one i did tonight for the "me" album. it's been awhile![check out the alpha stamps from my Megan!! aren't they rockin??!! :)]

OHHH!! and MAJOR shoutouts to the wonderful, awesome, supa sweet ladies who have sent me Christmas cards!!!  wow!! totally made me smile!!!  i love 'em!! Donna, Jamie, Maria & Amanda!!!  You girls ROCK!!! thank you, thank you!! :) [jamie-uber sweet niece you have...i just wanna smooch her!! amanda- nate & i LOVED that pic of you & john & belle!! sooo stinkin cute! and maria-you have NO idea what a HUGE smile your family photo brought to my face!!  one of THE cutest family pics i have EVER seen!! my family just think your girls are the cutest [cuz they are!!] and donna-i love our friendship!!! can't wait to meet you one day soon!]

manic monday.

ok, so not really a manic monday, but crazy all the same!

Christmas is in 6 days!!! it sure has went by fast! i can't wait!

things are well here. busy & fun, but well. :)

here's the lowdown:

-mean, mean patient friday at work.

-nate at my house when i got home

-scare with my Pastor not being able to marry like planned.

-grandparents house friday night to catch up, eat cookies & get gifts [money!!]

-grinders to see mom...had dinner & yummy mocha "frapps!" :)

-cuddle

-saturday:

-up & at 'em to go shopping!

-shopping

-offered a job [for the 4th time!] at the LSS!!! totally gonna take 'em up on their offer!!

-bought envelopes for our invites!!

-flutes [drinking glasses!] & scrapbook for the polaroids purchased!

-gifts with my sister!! she got me bomb-diggity alpha stamps & the invisible ink books for our trip this week!!

-figured the Pastor thing out. *sigh of relief!*

-wedding 2 hours earlier than originally planned.

-nate spending the night again...but at mindy's.

-sunday:

-church

-Christmas with my parents & step sister.

-mom & phil loved their Hoover sweeper we bought them!

-tana got megan & i beautiful silver heart & pink/purple stone necklaces!!

-watched Madagascar...LOOOOVE it!!

-cOld weather stinks.

-nate left in the evening. :( i miss him!!

-megan & i went shopping.

-finished my christmas shopping!!

-wrapped all remaining presents

-watched Christmas Vacation [a tradition around my house!]

-worked on my polaroid guestbook...that i'm now thinking of just making a 'photo guestbook' with digitals instead of fade-fast polaroids!:/

and now...it's monday..i'm at work..blah. ;)

in other news....

*south carolina is 3 days away!!!

*seeing nate again is 2 days away!!!

*i think i'm gonna scrap tonight!!!

*i got a KISS[hershey's that is!] from a gal at work!

*i think i'm just gonna make all my posts from now on just RAMBLE!!!! ha.

k, it's time to get back to it!

oh. p.s.: i started on my engagement album last week, found a hobby lobby, bought doodlebug stickers that i've been looking for annnnd added $200 to the wedding fund this weekend....LIFEISGOOD!! :)

56926.

that's the number of views typepad says i've had here.

typepad also states that 222.37 is the average of views per day.

and 1264 is the # i've had in the last 7 days.

along with 1612 comments.

with that i have a big,gigantic THANK YOU for stopping by, sayin hey,pc'in out, leavin me love,givin me advice & props & for allowing me to peek into your lives too [tho,i am super behind with that lately!] Thanks!!! :)

now, i guess i'm just curious as to who the flyin' fruit is actually reading my crap?!! hmmm..

in other news...

-found my credit card [totally in my jeans pocket! DOH!]

-tomorrow is friday!!!

-still didn't change my contacts. must. do. that. tonight. [can ya say..hurting eyes?!!]

-4 bm's have seen [and liked!!] their dresses!woot!

-got to leave some peapraise in the gallery today on lunch...felt good gettin my dose of maaaaad talent there!

-got a fortune cookie today from a lady at work [she gave us each one with our christmas cards she handed out today..quite clever, i thought!] anywhoo, mine was LAME..it said, "anyone can memorize things, but the important thing is to understand it." whaaaat? huhhhh? say again??!! ha. not like i go for that anyways...oh, and "....IN BED."

-got to see my friends, Kristen & Kara last night at job#2 [they're twins & Kristen & i used to work at the toystore together back in the day!] sooo freakin awesome seeing her again!! love getting paid to catch up with friends! *grin*

-mom made pizza last night. mmm. seriously, my mom is pretty dang good in the kitchen [a trait she failed to give me! ha.] however, i have this note to mom;

"dearest wonderful cook/baker,fun lovin,uber social & friendly mother of mine,

as much as i love, love, love your scrumptious pizza [pepperoni & cheese you know is always a fave of mine!], your amazing cookies,yummy casseroles [and everything in between]...i must remind you, i have a wedding to prepare for in now less than 10 months. i have a dress, i gotta fit into,look good in [or at least decent!]..i have weight to lose and lots of it, so pleeeeease just stop making good food and just. make. well, just. make. CRAP. so i won't want to eat it! :) :) :)

love,

your freakin fantastic 1st born of a daughter

*GRIN*

*lol*

wow. so, i'm in a mood today. actually, been in a 'mood' since tuesday. i'm just silly. everything from singing this funny, funny song i heard on the radio on my way home that night, to coming up with some new 'ghetto girl' names, as i strolled through the ghetto where i work [ok, so you TOTALLY had to be there!!!] to falling madly in love with big O's such as this tO lOOk like this....nichOle...eh. yOu get the pOint, i think! anyways. i blame it all on the wedding planning. or my withdrawl from my girlie friends. or my lack of funds to SHOP, SCRAP,SPLURGE like i used to just 5 short [or should i say LONG?!] weeks ago..or the madness of the holidays. or something. cuz it certainly couldn't be because i am just simply off my rocker??? nooooo way. ;)

eh. *sigh* i best get back to it. got lots to bill & have a 'Christmas Party' with the whole building in an hour...oh buddy. i'm just SO excited. ha. can you sense the sarcasm there? if not, just trust me...it's there. complete & total sarcasm. at least they'll be refreshments. :)

!!!!!! Peace,lOve & happiness ya'll! :) !!!!!!!!!

bOred.

right now..

i should be calling Qualchoice [an insurance] for a low payment.

i smell cookies.

i miss nate.

i wish i didn't have to work job#2 tonight.

i'm thinking about what Christmas presents i still need to buy.

i'm listening to a country station [how many times MUST they play "Jesus take the wheel"by carrie underwood??? UGH.]

i hear co-worker's chatting on the phone..like i should be doing right now.

i have 3 large empty bottles of water beside me.

i am full from my salad from lunch.

i taste like cake frosting. :)

i'm trying to remember to change my contacts tonight.

i'm worrying cuz i seem to have "misplaced" my credit card. eeep!

i wanna see Chronicles of Narnia again.

i just got an email from supervisor saying she's leaving for the day. must be nice.

i am excited for this weekend!

i now smell popcorn. geez, the food in the place is insane!

i am gettin back to work! :)